Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
