My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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