So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
we're so committed to being not committed
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