her vagine was all disorganized.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
