we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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