i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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