my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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