Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize