Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
