Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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