saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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