he wants to bone in the snuggie
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
