I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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