the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize