Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize