white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
