You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
