before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
