I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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