she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
