She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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