what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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