You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dignity is for republicans.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
