Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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