boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
