I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
