It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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