This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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