Your dad touched me again.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
