So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
