worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
