she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
