did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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