I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you never un-have a 4some
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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