You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
