I think my vagina is haunted
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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