...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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