wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
