the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize