I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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