There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
