We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
