if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
