I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
