apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
