Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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