I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize