I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
