hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
