You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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