My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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