Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
