He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
