4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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