how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
