I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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