I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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