Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
