When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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