The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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