he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
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