I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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