I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
vagina is talking i cant
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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