I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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